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I don’t think anything in The Guardian is real

I’m starting to think that absolutely everything in The Guardian is made-up. Take this for example:

Romanian film about fear of sexual intimacy wins Golden Bear at Berlin film festival

Why have actual journalists when you can just make this sort stuff up and no-one will bother checking? A Romanian film about fear of sexual intimacy wins poncy European film festival prize, sounds about right. Is this a film anyone would want to go and see? No, not even Guardian readers would. So no-one will ever know that it’s not real.

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