Idea for a new game show that I’ve just sent to ITV:
‘I’m a Guardianista, Get Me Out Of Here!’
Guardian and BBC journalists are taken to the Australian outback. (They will be taken against their will, because in the ultimately free society everyone does the right thing voluntarily.)
In the outback they are given various choices, such as:
(1) Eat wallaby poo, or admit Donald Trump is a good president.
(2) Lick a dingo’s derriere, or start a petition calling for a knighthood for Nigel Farage.
(3) Take a bath in witchety grubs, or agree to write an article praising Mike Pence.
If necessary (because most likely they’ll choose the first option every time):
(4) Undergo a made-up Aboriginal fire purification ritual, or else admit that maybe Brexit isn’t quite the apocalypse they claim it is.
Note to self: idea for another game show: ‘I’m a Trendy Stalinist, Get Me Out Of Here!’, set in a gulag.