How hard is it to understand that tall glasses and kids don’t mix?

One of the bizarre things about taking kids to eat out in the UK is that most places you go to insist on serving kids’ drinks in the tallest, thinnest glasses you can possible imagine. In other words, the glasses that are most likely to be knocked over by kids. The restaurants seem to think that kids find such glasses cool. Which they often do. But no glass looks cool when it’s been upended by the an arm, and is spilling sticky sweet red stuff all over the table and floor, and maybe some broken glass to boot.

A posh restaurant’s idea of a suitable glass to serve to a 5-year-old.

And there seems to be an direct relationship going on here: the posher the place, and thus the more embarrassment that is caused by knocking a glass over, the taller and thinner the glass.

So let me make it clear to any restaurant owners who may have come here by mistake, or any regular reader who is contemplating taking advantage of the demise of so many of Jamie Oliver’s restaurants by opening a few of their own: you serve kids’ drinks in the widest, shortest glasses you can find. Glasses that have a centre of gravity so low that they’re practically velcro’d to the table. Under no circumstances should you even contemplate putting anything made of glass that is taller than a soft drink can anywhere a child. In fact, with kids it’s best to think plastic. I don’t care how posh you are. Think plastic.

And for God’s sake, when there are children around get unneeded wine glasses off the table ASAP. If you leave a dozen wine glasses on the table a minute longer than necessary don’t expect a round dozen to remain when you come back. Expect instead to see broken bits of glass everywhere.

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