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Prince Patsy and Princess Jazz-Hands

Sadly I missed a very important announcement last month.

The old town crier is much missed. What was it?

The sparky and hip young royal Meghan Markle spent International Women’s Day this year urging young women to study STEM subjects. What an inspiration she is.

Verily. But what, pray tell, did Meghan Markle study at University? Physics?

No.

Chemistry?

No.

Mechanical Engineering?

No.

Computer Studies then?

No.

Applied Stats, at least?

No. If you must know, it was THIS.

THIS? Is that very scientific?

Well, not really. That’s Theatre and International Studies. My own acronym, I’m very proud of it.

Not much STEM in that, is there?

Not a lot.

Did she at least have to calculate some angles to understand audience sight-lines?

Unlikely.

But hey, now that she’s a Royal, she’ll be able to rectify this oversight by enrolling in Biochemistry forthwith at the University of Chippenham.

Well, maybe the reason she didn’t do STEM herself was because she had her own personal dreams, dreams which didn’t involve her spending most of her life around centrifuges and autoclaves.

Maybe that’s true. But then, maybe, just maybe, most young women choose not to do STEM not because of gender stereotyping, but because they have their own personal dreams as well, none of which involve Bio-Rad Digital Droplet PCR Systems.

Tough luck. Meghan has ordered them to do STEM.

But isn’t she a tiny bit dim? Just a tiny bit?

No. She’s clever and feisty.

But even the The Telegraph’s Royal Correspondent seems to think she’s a moron:

Ms Markle, who spent time puzzling over instructions to help the girls with their work, said she was impressed with a programme which allowed them to temporarily edit web pages, saying the ability to change untrue information into “something positive” was “so cool”.

They can change a web page! Fake news will be a thing of the past!

Well, not everyone can use a computer.

I love this bit too:

The couple, who are both feminists according to Ms Markle

Everyone thought Harry was a lad, but he’s turned out to be a drip and a patsy, hasn’t he? Patsy and Sparkles.  The Corbyn Royals.

(Hat-tip: Charlotte Gill.)

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