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First of the gang to go right-wing

I’ve taken to carrying a box of Morrissey CDs in the back of my car. (For some reason they were going very cheap.) The reason I do this is in case I ever meet any of the old Morrissey bores from school. Back then there were pre-goth types who always dressed in black and painted their nails black and smoked a lot, and they’d always go on about what a genius Morrissey was. I used to annoy them by saying that he seemed like a posturing ninny to me.

But if I meet any of these people now, I will insist that we play some Morrissey music, because I have seen the light and now appreciate what a genius he is. Just to watch them squirm.

I’m sorry you had to see this

Actually, he still is a posturing ninny. When he recently spoke in support of the For Britain party, he also said “I despise racism. I despise fascism. I would do anything for my Muslim friends, and I know they would do anything for me.”

I would do anything for my Muslim friends: No, you wouldn’t.

They would do anything for me: no, they wouldn’t.

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