A modern far-right fairy story

Far-right plumber Dave Bloggs today visited the far-right London History Museum to view inflammatory material about far-right political extremists, including Winston Churchill, Margaret Thatcher and Tony Blair. Bloggs, who travelled on the far-right Docklands Light Rail service which has trampled over union rights by using driverless trains, was with members of his family, including his wife who is believed to be a far-right sympathizer. While in London he visited far-right food outlet McDonalds, which still allows its far-right clientele to drink from plastic straws if they ask for them. Eyewitnesses say that Bloggs was openly reading far-right literature on the train, including The Sun and The Times. One witness claims that Bloggs’s oldest son was reading a magazine which featured a white man on the cover, which experts believe indicates that it was probably far-right material.

Fellow passenger Juanita Gonzalez, a 28-year-old sociology student, described the scenes: “It was awful, like something out of a dystopian movie. They were brazenly wearing far-right clothing, the Dad for example had an England shirt on. One of the boys had the far-right white supremacist band Motorhead on his T-shirt. Motorhead have only ever had white band members of the band, and have never had a LGQBT member. They’ve also not signed up to the NME Rock Code of Conduct. I was literally shaking and crying. London is a tolerant, multicultural city, and people like this should not be allowed to enter.”

Fellow passenger Fifi Bangles, a 28-year-old Sociology student, concurred: “The worst thing was, they were all white. Just sitting there and laughing, like it didn’t matter. I was literally shaking and crying, and had to go and vomit in the toilet.”

CCTV footage indicates that the racist far-right pack, believed to be from the far-right North of the country, engaged in other anti-social far-right activities after their visit to the far-right shrine, including playing the far-right sport of ten-pin bowling, which is still legal in most parts of the country, and eating at a pub with a far-right sexist and nationalistic name, the Cock and Bull. Reports are also coming in that they ate a curry in an off-hand, insufficiently respectful manner.

Police have confirmed the far-right incidents, which numerous people reported to them, and said it is investigating. “Unfortunately this sort of far-right behaviour is still tolerated in other parts of the country”, said Chief Inspector Ruth Tavistock. “We are working with the government on an information campaign to warn visitors to London that these sorts of far-right activities are no longer tolerated in a vibrant, diverse, multicultural city like London.”

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