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Philip Hammond, he knows what size knickers you wear

Another lame young Telegraph writer appears, this time with a ludicrous article drooling all over Philip Hammond and his non-existent achievements:

it’s not so much Mr Hammond’s fondness for the single market that should worry the hardliners of the European Research Group, but his penchant for being correct.

What has he got correct then? What the article provides is pretty thin gruel:

Where the predictions and visions of his Brexiteer colleagues have often fallen by the wayside, Mr Hammond’s track record is impressive. Eighteen months ago, he said Britain would remain “recognisably European” and that the UK’s current “social, economic and cultural model” would not change. Mrs May has subsequently agreed to “level playing field” provisions on environmental protections and workers rights.

Wow, what a seer. Not much has changed while we’re negotiating Brexit, who could have predicted that? And in such minute, exact detail. Even physicists can’t work at this sort of precision: “the UK’s current social, economic and cultural model won’t change”. We’d better do as he says, he clearly has supernatural powers of rightness and will soon be calculating both the position and the momentum of individual atoms.

Philip Hammond after he has just calculated the colour and design of Fiona Bruce’s knickers.

Anyway, the whole thing is very shady. Yesterday the Telegraph published a scoop in which they caught Hammond admitting on a phone call that he was going to cancel a No Deal Brexit (a phone call the transcipt of which reads suspiciously like it had been scripted). Yet today they run a puff piece on him?

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