HomeCulture‘I’m here to investigate the murder. Gentlemen, please drop your trousers so I can see who the guilty party is’

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‘I’m here to investigate the murder. Gentlemen, please drop your trousers so I can see who the guilty party is’ — 8 Comments

  1. I have always thought that men sending dick pics was a bit stupid but this issue makes me think that there might be an exception. She uses the small dick emoji and he responds with a pic that proves otherwise. Checkmate.

  2. A colleague of mine upset some woman who wanted to push past him in a queue. When it was suggested she wait her turn, she replied with the “you small dicked arseholes are all the same.” He replied that that was the reason they could never marry and be happy, followed by, “me with my small dick and you with a vagina the size of the grand canyon. Sex would be like throwing a sausage down the corridor.” She looked for another queue.

  3. Which reminds me;

    The D of E, in his role of Colonel-in-Chief, was invited to a dinner at the mess of The Rifles.

    Once the table had been cleared, and the port was being passed, the Duke enquired about a series of lines, cut into the table, parallel to the edge, in front of each chair.

    “Well Sir,” said the Colonel, “by tradition, each officer new to the regiment is invited to add their mark to the table at the end of their first dinner in the mess.”

    “Mark?” Replies the Duke, “just a line?”

    Looking a tad embarrassed, the Colonel says “Yes Sir, they stand close to the table’s edge, whip their todger out, and cut a line in the table where their member reaches to. Sir.”

    “Good god, man,” says the Duke, “don’t be so damned coy about it. I am your Colonel-in-Chief, who am I to ignore such a tradition of this fine regiment?”

    Whereupon, he stands up, loosens his fly, and places his member upon the table, and cuts his mark with a knife.

    “There Sir, there’s a good few inches there, I’d say! Eh, Colonel?”

    After a moment’s awkward silence, the Adjutant ventures;

    “Most of the chaps were standing at the other side of the table, Sir.”

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