GovernmentHumourWar

Bang bang, lie down, you’re dead

This is actually a good idea:

German soldiers used broomsticks painted black instead of guns during a joint Nato exercise last year due to severe equipment shortages, it has emerged.

 

The incident took place during exercises for Nato’s rapid response force, formed in reaction to the Ukraine crisis, which is supposed to be ready to deploy anywhere it is needed at very short notice …

 

The troops were missing 31 per cent of their MG3 general-purpose machine guns, 41 per cent of their P8 handguns, and more than three-quarters of their Lucie night-vision devices.

 

Soldiers resorted to painting broomsticks black and attaching them to Boxer armoured vehicles to simulate gun barrels.

The reason it’s a good idea is that the modern welfare state costs a gargantuan amount of money, so the military can’t expect to keep being given money for non-woke things like guns. Quite often they’re going to be having to pretend to have guns. And they’ll need to practice that to make it convincing.

So Germany is ahead of the curve on this. Black broomsticks look convincing from a distance. Whereas the French, for example, won’t have put in the necessary hard yards, so when the next war comes, they’ll have to improvise on the spot. But picking up a rock and pretending it’s a grenade doesn’t work so well if you haven’t previously prepared by painting it green.

And there must be thousands of old Dolph Lundgren life-size cardboard cut-outs that can be used to make an army look bigger. I bet the Germans have bought all those up, ready for action, whereas the British will naively expect real soldiers to be fighting by their side.

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One thought on “Bang bang, lie down, you’re dead

  1. “The reason it’s a good idea is that the modern welfare state costs a gargantuan amount of money, so the military can’t expect to keep being given money for non-woke things like guns.”

    “We need a new telly. The holes in the roof can wait.”

    (On a smaller scale, my local council is busy putting some kind of green-themed electronic game for kids on lamp-posts that haven’t been painted for almost 30 years.)

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