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Hector Drummond

Hector Drummond

Author of The Biscuit Factory Vol. I: Days of Wine and Cheese

Hector Drummond
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Category Archives: Humour

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Cuddly cartoon versions of the little Stalins

Hector Drummond Posted on Friday 6th December 2019 by Hector DrummondFriday 6th December 2019

Things would change, they’re right: Mainly the mortality statistics. … Continue reading →

Posted in Hard left, Humour, Politics | 7 Replies

Let’s just hope toilet paper doesn’t start coming with instructions

Hector Drummond Posted on Friday 4th October 2019 by Hector DrummondFriday 4th October 2019

Here’s some much-needed wisdom from the manual for my new fridge: Problem: Bottles or receptacles are touching each other Solution: Move the bottles or receptacles slightly away from each other. Perhaps one of the manual writers always wanted to write … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Leave a reply

Blacking up was not racist then, and it isn’t now

Hector Drummond Posted on Sunday 22nd September 2019 by Hector DrummondSunday 22nd September 2019

It turns out Justin Trudeau has often done something that would result in career suicide if done by a conservative: Two more instances of Justin Trudeau in racist makeup have surfaced hours after Time Magazine reported that he wore brown … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour, Politicians, Politics | 6 Replies

Improve yourself, the Tonya Harding way

Hector Drummond Posted on Tuesday 17th September 2019 by Hector DrummondTuesday 17th September 2019

How We Can Be A Better Cricket Team, by Trevor Bayliss: Exclusively revealed: Trevor Bayliss shares his blueprint for English cricket to make the Test team more successful One of his ideas is: Banning touring players from playing county cricket … Continue reading →

Posted in Cricket, Humour, Sport | 3 Replies

Theresa the Tank Engine

Hector Drummond Posted on Tuesday 16th July 2019 by Hector DrummondTuesday 16th July 2019

A fitting end to a wretched Prime Ministership. The music fits perfectly. … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour, Politicians, The Conservatives, Theresa May | 1 Reply

I’ve got him over a barrel

Hector Drummond Posted on Wednesday 10th July 2019 by Hector DrummondWednesday 10th July 2019

You remember the Australian guy who ate a raw slug while drunk and it eventually killed him? Now there’s a guy – also an Australian, you may not be surprised to hear – who’s eaten a raw gecko, and that … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour, Philosophy | Leave a reply

Bang bang, lie down, you’re dead

Hector Drummond Posted on Saturday 6th July 2019 by Hector DrummondSaturday 6th July 2019

This is actually a good idea: German soldiers used broomsticks painted black instead of guns during a joint Nato exercise last year due to severe equipment shortages, it has emerged.   The incident took place during exercises for Nato’s rapid … Continue reading →

Posted in Government, Humour, War | 1 Reply

Thank God for Steve Bell, he literally wins elections with his cartoons

Hector Drummond Posted on Thursday 4th July 2019 by Hector DrummondSaturday 6th July 2019

I am serious — Steve Bell, the long-time Guardian cartoonist is a national treasure. He should be knighted one day, and buried in Westminster Abbey. For over twenty years the Guardian has chosen to publish his political cartoons. This has … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Humour, Media, Politics | Tagged Steve Bell | 5 Replies

From the department of ‘How dumb?’

Hector Drummond Posted on Saturday 8th June 2019 by Hector DrummondSaturday 8th June 2019

Woman complains about a dating agency. The complaint is reasonable. The naivety, however, is astounding: I spent £2,795 with a dating agency called Attractive Partners, which after five months has not found me any decent men.   I took the … Continue reading →

Posted in Culture, Humour | 6 Replies

Rory Stewart emergency

Hector Drummond Posted on Wednesday 29th May 2019 by Hector DrummondWednesday 29th May 2019

Rory Stewart is in my front room asking me questions in Arabic, and he won’t leave. Please send help. The children are terrified of him. Update: One thing I’ve discovered from our little chat is that Rory’s full name is … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour, Politicians, The Conservatives | Tagged Rory Stewart | Leave a reply

What the White Walkers really wanted

Hector Drummond Posted on Monday 20th May 2019 by Hector DrummondSunday 19th May 2019

I have finally discovered what the White Walkers were trying to say! Here’s the message: “PASS THERESA’S WITHDRAWAL AGREEMENT OR YOU SHALL ALL DIE”. [P.S. This is my created graphic, it’s not just something stolen off the internet.] … Continue reading →

Posted in Brexit, Humour, Theresa May | 2 Replies

Now that’s what I call bad breath

Hector Drummond Posted on Thursday 16th May 2019 by Hector DrummondWednesday 6th November 2019

So. Game of Thrones. I don’t watch it, except the occasional bit when I can’t avoid it (my wife is a fan). Latest episode: dragon burns city. So I watched this short clip in a story about the Simpsons predicting … Continue reading →

Posted in Brexit, Culture, Humour, Theresa May, TV | 1 Reply

Incredible science news

Hector Drummond Posted on Tuesday 14th May 2019 by Hector DrummondTuesday 14th May 2019

In an amazing new scientific finding, it has been discovered that  Conservative MPs perceive time slower than everyone else. … Continue reading →

Posted in Brexit, Humour, Politicians, Politics, The Conservatives, Theresa May | 2 Replies

Live each day as if it’s your last

Hector Drummond Posted on Wednesday 17th April 2019 by Hector DrummondSunday 21st April 2019

Well, what a day. So much has happened. In the morning – this was yesterday morning now – I went to a Spiritual Well-Being seminar and the guru there said to live each day as if it was your last. I … Continue reading →

Posted in Comedy, Humour | 2 Replies

A man in hell

Hector Drummond Posted on Sunday 23rd December 2018 by Hector DrummondSunday 23rd December 2018

There’s a man whose brain disease makes him think it’s Christmas every day. Because he doesn’t like Christmas, this is horrible for him: His wife of 30 years Sarah, 63, said: “People say: ‘Oh how nice!’ when I tell them … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Leave a reply

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About

Former professor turned novelist. Author of The Biscuit Factory Vol. I: Days of Wine and Cheese, a modern campus satire. More about me here.

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Recent Posts

  • Pompous has-been proves inexplicably unpopular Monday 16th December 2019
  • Time gained Saturday 14th December 2019
  • Choose one (again) Saturday 14th December 2019
  • The Biscuit Factory Vol. I: Days of Wine and Cheese serialisation. Part 4 Friday 13th December 2019
  • The SWP still a bunch of losers then Friday 13th December 2019
  • This is allowed now, right? Thursday 12th December 2019
  • Drummond’s Law and Jew-hatred Thursday 12th December 2019
  • Choose one (again) Wednesday 11th December 2019
  • Are the Conservatives finished if they lose tomorrow? Wednesday 11th December 2019
  • Why do most comedians support Labour? Wednesday 11th December 2019
  • Choose one Tuesday 10th December 2019
  • Polly can hide out in her column, one of the best hiding places in the country Tuesday 10th December 2019
  • Quote of the Day Monday 9th December 2019
  • One less Indian Monday 9th December 2019
  • Quote of the Day Sunday 8th December 2019
  • Guilty until proved innocent, part 624372 Sunday 8th December 2019
  • Can it, Momoa Saturday 7th December 2019
  • Cuddly cartoon versions of the little Stalins Friday 6th December 2019
  • The Biscuit Factory Vol. I: Days of Wine and Cheese serialisation. Part 3 Friday 6th December 2019
  • Grovel before us, possible apostate Friday 6th December 2019

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Lunatic dribblings from other scribblers

Seriously, these guys are idiots:

  • Twelve Years Of Hurt
    by Frank Davis on Sunday 15th December 2019 at 12:07

    Why was it that, 50 years after voting to join the […]

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    So much for an all-powerful, well funded sinister […]

  • ‘Ear! ‘Ear!
    by JuliaM on Sunday 15th December 2019 at 11:00

    *sighs* At least they got the animal species […]

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    Today proves, absolutely, that there is no pot of […]

  • Once Again, 'It's Only Taxpayer's Money'...
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    Three extra emergency shelters were launched this […]

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    I am frustrated too. That’s mainly with […]

  • And In Foreign News
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    Time for an open thread, I think. Feel free to […]

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    by Tim Worstall on Sunday 15th December 2019 at 07:13

    But other than that what is to be done? As many as […]

  • Parking our tanks on Labour's lawn
    by Raedwald on Sunday 15th December 2019 at 05:24

    The country has always been an egalitarian place. […]

  • There is a much simpler way to do this, you know
    by Natalie Solent (Essex) on Saturday 14th December 2019 at 23:50

    Like someone who comes out blinking from having […]

  • The Twelve Days Of Musical Christmas - Day 3
    by JuliaM on Saturday 14th December 2019 at 12:00

    A bit controversial, as ... well, is it really a […]

  • Yep, they’re starting already
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    When Boris Johnson says he has a clear mandate for […]

  • What Sort Of Job...?
    by JuliaM on Saturday 14th December 2019 at 11:00

    Ryan Rodgers hit back at his mother-in-law's claims […]

  • Erm, why?
    by Tim Worstall on Saturday 14th December 2019 at 09:49

    It would be a truly radical and transformational […]

  • It Seems There's Someone Else To Blame Too...
    by JuliaM on Saturday 14th December 2019 at 09:30

    The mother of Britain's youngest gang victim has […]

  • Ho hum
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  • Advance, Britannia Fair!
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    This extraordinary turn of events, to this […]

  • Sigh…
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    With the greatest regret, I felt I had no […]

  • Obituary: David Bellamy; silenced for being a ‘Denier’!
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    In the long run my observations have convinced me […]

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